Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Spring Cleaning (Detox)

I am currently doin a detox where I am eating only whats in season (spring) raw, liquid form and/or steamed. My day consists of the master cleanse (the juice of a lemon, a pinch of cayenne, tablespoon of flax or olive oil, and some warm water), fruits that are in season (papaya, mango, strawberries, kiwi, lemon, lime etc) and 16 ounces of water in the am, for the 1st 4hours after you're awake. For lunch/dinner, veggies (asparagus, green beans, broccoli, corn, carrots, beets, dandelion leaves , zucchini, etc.) that are in season and throughout the day I should have consumed at least 80 ounces of water, a quart of "freshed pressed" apple juice, and an herbal tea. Eating all of these veggies raw, liquid form, and/or steamed until 8pm, no later than 8.

Now here is where I have been slackin a lil bit. I have not been making the herbal tea... its seems kinda complicated if yo don't know much about certain herbs. but today, I found an herbal tea that supports fasting, so maybe that will make up for it somehow. And I have not been drinkin a quart of apple juice a day. I do drink fresh pressed apple juice everyday, just not a quart... kinda pricey.

Everything else is in tact though.

Day 1 started fine, full of energy, ready to start, got out of bed excited. I prepared my fruit the night before, I cut up some papaya and strawberries. Now, I found out on Friday that I'm actually not a fan of papaya. I thought I'd tried them way before then but I thought it would taste similar to melon, but when I had it, i was like... uuuuuhm maybe not. And when I cut it up for the first time sunday night, i was kinda disgusted by the inside. However, papaya has more protein out of all fruits (according to the book im reading), and today (day 3) as I type this, its growin on me. When I cut it up last night, I saw how beautiful it was, kinda reminds me of when i cut open a pomegranate.
sooooo I woke up and stomached the master cleanse (with olive oil), made me a fruit juice with apple juice, strawberries and papaya, grabbed my fruit tupperware and off to work. (yeah, i forgot the water in the morning on day one, oops).
now, when I first heard of the master cleanse I thought to my self, "sounds like a real shitter" however, i was wrong. I pee-ed and pee-ed and pee-ed.... and pee-ed some more. I pee alot on this detox. My bowels seem rather normal, but I am pee-ing like crazy.
5pm I got a veggie juice from the juice bar in harlem, apple, broccoli, celery, and carrot. And when I got home it hit me... I cannot season or cook NATHIN. And it was weird cuz everywhere I went, I smelled fried food. It was like I smelled grease and seasoning salt.
By 6:30pm, i am home dreading my steamed veggies that i have to prepare. I prepared, some broccoli, carrots, asparagus, and dandelion leave, (dandelion greens is also something that I should be consuming daily). So I cut up everything, and steamed and ate 'em. Dandelion greens are di SGUS ting. lawdy lawdy. so from there I picked some more dandelion greens, put them in a pot with just enough water to barely cover them, and boiled them. When they were dark, I simply poured the water in a large water bottle and discarded most of the greens. I will NOT eat the leaves but rather drink the nutrients, I don't know if those are the rules, but ah well.... after that, I drank lots and lots of water (cuz I've been pee-n all day), some apple juice, and got ready for bed, I was wore OUT! I wanted a slice of pizza so bad :(

(This can be a long one so I'm gonna try to sum it up, sorry for taking so long with an entry)

Day 2- Master cleanse with flax seed oil. same fruit juice. But now on that morning I actually drank some water. out the door with my bowls of fruits.
pee pee and more pee
still peeing and drinking water too!
had a salad for lunch... bleh... no chz:(
still peeing
home, had my steamed veggies and DRANK my homemade dandelion green tea with honey... it wasn't bad, but i wouldn't after this detox. Then I went to sleep.
I noticed yesterday that I start to feeling antsy from 3-5ish, like my body is like, uuuuuuhm aren't you gonna have something cooked??? There are feelings of sadness. I feel like I'm failing because I'm thinkin of ways to break the detox. Its just a "down" time. I remember during those couple of hours on day one thinking, "just cut you a slice of cheeze and shut up!!!"

And then there is today, day 3
morning was the same but instead of papaya and strawberries, I ate mango, kiwi, strawberries from one bowl and papaya from the other bowl. I think I did pretty good with the water and I actually took a tally of how many times i pee-ed... between 10am and 4pm I pee-ed 12 times. I stopped counting after that. Every other time that I pee-ed I drank 8 ounces of water so not to get dehydrated. From 3-5 i was feeling the blues. but I got a salad and it wasn't so bad today.

I have to be discipline. One of the points of this is to have these foods occupy about 90% of my diet, which is definitely possible... I just want to cook them

But I'm sticking to the script. I can do this I can do this. Send your good vibes, i need your love. The author (Afya Ibomu) of the book says I should say these affirmations often: "I am healthy, I am strong, I am discipline. My symptoms are only disease leaving my body. I am committed to doing what my body wants and needs me to do. I love me"

and I do :)

ok, im out.. i gotta pee

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

love letters

Dear Nakia's nose,

I love you so much. You have been with me always, and I haven't loved you all ways. But today I do, I have made the decision to love you and to never change you. You're mine and you have never given up on me. Making fun of you in public hurt when others did it, and it doesn't feel too good when I do it along with them. I'm sorry, thank you for being a part of me.

Dear Nakia's eyes,

We have been through it. When I was little, I can remember sitting on my dad's lap bracing myself for when he ripped the adhesive patch off of one of you (righty). It hurt. That whole experience hurt. Trying to strengthen one of you, while the other was pretty weak too. Then wearing a contact in one eye while wearing thick glasses for both eyes- at the same time. It was a lot. I was never happy with you. But you stayed put, never failing completely. Always gave me exactly what I needed to get through the day. I have not lost hope for you, and do intend to heal myself. But for now, I love you. I acknowledge you. and I thank you for being with me. When I first saw my glasses, (the ones I wear today) I cried. But now, I prefer them. They need you right now, and I am happy to oblige. Thank you, and I love you.

Dear Nakia's Knees,

Throughout my dancer career, you have been very very important to me. But for whatever reason, I don't give you the attention you desperately need sometimes. You have given up on me a total of 3 times while dancing. And I have been dancing for more than a decade. But on the other hand you have given up on me while walking or sitting, countless times. And its all because I don't listen to you when I should. You don't have the support you need on top of the fact that I often rush. Well, knees, I love you, I decide to love you and will remember to stretch my I.T. bands so that you don't shift on me again. I will not be pissed when you shift. I will learn to listen to my body and what it needs. You deserve it. I love you.

Dear Nakia's Body,

You have been a beautiful home. Yet, I have not enjoyed you. Not fully. Eating fatty foods, working 7 days a week. Not getting rest. Not exercising. How do I expect you to keep working if I don't love and take care of you. I acknowledge that I am not you, or any of your limbs which I also love but rather I am with you in this present lifetime. And I appreciate being with you. I wish to stay here for a bit longer but I know to do so I must take care of you. I have been back and forth with my diet and I think its time to be discipline... in real life. Cutting meat out does not equate to eating healthy. Its gonna take more effort that that and I am willing to try try try again, and get it right before I move on to the next body in the next lifetime. You need you rest as well. All this 9-5 work isn't really helping you at all. Not the way you thought it would anyway, so why not take car of you in the process. I love you so much. I really want you to know that.

Dear Nakia's Mind,

We fight A LOT. And I'm tired of fighting. We need balance, Me (spirit), you (mind), and body. I have to learn to, or rather, DECIDE to enjoy this game we play, cuz right now, I am suffering, staying too much inside of you, not knowing what its like to be out of my mind. I have neglected to focus you as well. Not really having enough patience to meditate. We have had serious beef for the longest of time. And I'm ready to squash it. I love you. You are the most complex of them all at the moment. Always questioning and refuting. Creating negative scenes, enabling me to be mad about them... in real life. and you are not the bad guy here, I'm just saying that the time has come for you not to be so dominant. I have decided to be easy with you. It will be an effort, a huge one that I will have to make forever, but I am willing. I love you, and today I choose to be in "constant prayer" monitoring my thoughts, producing positivity. I am waking up every morning to ask my self, "self, what would YOU like to experience today?" and my actions will answer that. Today, I am conscious of what I am creating. and a negative mind, does not serve me. So I release thee, lovingly. I love you and I'm changing my mind.

Love all ways,

The spirit whom answers to Nakia