Love Letter (He Wants Me to Win) LYRICS

I found a man who loves to be with me
Connected to his Spirituality
He sees me whole he sees me free
He sees himself exactly how he sees me
-and I love how
He wants to give to my freedom
Working with him is just like rhythm
He is my lover he is my friend
I want him to soar he wants me to win
-for real
He will never ever ever play me
cuz we are cocreatin for the same team yeah
And I'm his baby, and I'm his ol lady
He's a strong brother and a true gift to me
-and I deserve it
all the love in my life found a man who is right
he's my reflection and he's so divine and
he ain't tryna run my life
he's wants me to do what right

(the fussin and fightin ain't for us cuz its all love
and no ones crown is fallincuz we keep our heads up)
We got that 'he loves him and I love me' love
and we add to eachothers "build up"
His kisses never leave me lonely
I can't wait to feel his hands on me
Cuz everything we do feel so holy
-come here baby
let's experience glory
-for real
We look within to find whats positive
and AMPLIFY it
I want him to SOAR, he wants me to WIN
and he adores me and thats the reason why he spoils me
and always wants to be around and i don't mind
cuz when I' mad at the world he reminds me
that the world is on my side, with him

and he ain't tryna run my life

(C) Nakia Henry and Erykah Badu :)

Transition (lyrics)

Don't know if its the Virgo in me, Or the way that I was raised to be
That keeps me constantly stressin, And missing all the great things
in this life, its passing me by

So I've been tryin to find things that ground me, Show compassion to my friends and family
Learning how to love without condition, but I forget to love me
So easily, is it how I choose to be

Well, I've decided...
That I forgive me
Its my decision, and I've decided
to Live my life and not let life live me
I forgive me

Back straight, head up, don't look down now, show my beautiful face
I'm fine, it's cool, I just fell down, but down
I won't stay, I refuse to stay

My past is a piece of me, Don't want to be the girl I used to be
I think its time I leave her be, she wasn't serving me
So I release thee, lovingly

And I decided...
I've gotta leave, I love you girl but I've gotta leave
And I've decided, I love you little girl...
but there's a beautiful Woman, waiting for me (waiting to be me)

Deep inside I hear a voice say...
(I hear it, and it telling me I love you, and today I'm saying, "I love you too" [from album version]))

Today I'm focused on the love within me, and all the gifts I have to give
Today I hear the God within me, and I choose to live and I've decided to live

So I'm gonna live...

(from REMEMBER ME)

day 21 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

light painting with Saddi Khali

Day 21 of my 21 day detox of the mind, July 4th I celebrate 'thinking independently of any situation' day. I celebrate being awake and choosing consciously. I celebrate inner peace. I celebrate Spirit... Thank you for witnessing me creating a habit. And the spiritual practice continues...

This 21 Day detox was designed to create a healthy habit. It is a process. A reminder to reconnect. A reminder to realign to who I really am. Life will not stop happening, but how I deal and how I'm affected will be in my control. I am choosing it all. I am choosing to be down, up, left, right, sad, happy, defeated, success, bored, creative... all of it. No one is "making me feel" anything.

I don't want to be the effect anymore. I want to be the cause of my pleasurable experience. When I am the cause, then others will know and want to contribute. I will not make them the source (anymore). They will know how to treat me, because I know how to treat me. And the opposite is true as well. If someone is bothering me, or I feel like I'm being abused, then they are learning from the best abuser (me). I'm blessing it and stepping away.

I feel really good.

I have found away to soothe myself whenever I am in a situation where in the past, I was ready to fall to pieces. I fell to pieces before this detox and today I re-membered me. I re-membered the laughter and the determination that I am. I re-membered the been hurt and been fixed that I am. I re-membered the all of the Divine aspects that I am. I re-membered all of the pieces. The many members of me looked at each other and recalled how beautiful and strong I am. They looked at each other and saw wisdom. They saw all knowing. They saw the all of them and felt whole. The members of me celebrated their (w)holiness when I put them together again. I know how to reconnect. I know how to soothe me. I am open to more methods but I can stand firm on mine.

I look forward to life now. I look forward to winning this games. I am grateful to know the rules. I am grateful to know that no matter how bad things were, that I didn't die and I'm still here. I am grateful to go on, with enthusiasm. I am grateful to know that I live within abundance, which means, I don't have to settle for SHIT. I don't have to wait for someone else to change their mind so that I can be happy. I am grateful to know that I have everything and more inside of me, including my happiness. My happiness comes from me, through me. Outside sources contribute, but they are NOT the source. I am married to my inner-being and though it is an open relationship, I must commit to her first.

I am grateful to share these truths, for I know when I share with you, I am sharing with me. We are one. My hope for this series aside from my transformation, is that you can somehow believe that they too, have EVERYTHING AND MORE INSIDE OF YOU. That you are pulling your own strings all ways.

Remember how beautiful you are. Remember how strong you are. Remember WHO YOU REALLY ARE. Remember we are one. and when you remember you, you will have also remembered me.

Remember Me

Nakia

day 20 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Day 20 of my 21 Day detox of the mind: "FEELS LIKE I'M WALKIN ON WATER, AND THERES NO WAY FOR ME TO DROOOWWN. I'M TIPPY TOE'IN ON THE HEAVENS AND DON'T WANNA COME DOOOOWWWN" this is how I feel -from "Heaven" who know the rest [PREVIEW THE SONG]


I feel alive.

day 19 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Day 19 of my 21 day detox: releasing 'common' (unconscious). Embracing 'mastery' (Conscious)... Its all making sense now, I am truly re-membering all the beautiful pieces of me. I am living my life, awake. I am listening.

Saddi Khali

"On this day of your life, Nakia, I believe God wants you to know that mastery is not measured by the number of terrible things you eliminate from your life, but by the number of times you eliminate calling them terrible."

This is am email I got a long time ago from subscribing to Neale Donald Walsch's site, the author of Conversations with God. I know that this detox is aiding me in being aware of my choices and reminding me that I created it all. I created everything I am going through in my life either by being the effect or being the cause. I want to forever be the cause. The pen is in my hand and I am open for spirit to pour through me my reality of well being.

This detox has helped me let go of so much just in the matter of 3 weeks. I definitely feel different and more responsible then ever before. I am more and more uncomfortable at my 9-5 and its only a matter of time before I release it. I know that I am holding on to it by fear as it says nothing of love or fulfillment. Right now I have it for my bills. and That's it. Wow... did I just say that. Even the truth scares ME sometimes. But I will set that creation forward. I know what my thought is doing. So I own it and stand firm in abundance. i stand firm in the knowing that I will prosper and feel free to share my good when I am doing what I love most.

Fear is something I will have to consciously release/let go of daily. It is a monster that has been fed for years. Well, monster isn't the best word. But its the part of me that no longer serves me. So I bless it, because it reminds me that I am more. That Love is real and at the end of the day, LOVE IS ALL THERE IS. So when I am faced with something I fear, I won't just run to it in the hopes to overcome it. I will simply ask myself, "where is Love right now, in this moment"? How can I be love? I will choose love always and by default, drop fear... and everything else really. When I choose love, the illusions just fall away.

I am always choosing. Labeling something wastes energy. Gets me stuck in the "lemme tell you why this is bad" stage. I would like to be of sound mind to see it, and determine whether it speaks to the truth of me or not. And if it doesn't, I will choose create a situation that does.

How will I make my exit... I don't know, and I'm scared. I acknowledge that and also know that its the first step to healing and letting go. You have to hold it first before letting go, right?

day 18 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Day 18 of my 21 day mind detox was another quiet day, my chatter was workin overtime and needed some soothing. My mind chatter was beggin for a backrub today, and my heart obliged. I still have a lot to let go, and am making this more about the process and less about the destination. Its Growth. I'm honored to share it.

I turned within a lot today, because I could still feel "hurt" lurking around the corner. Awareness tells me that when I feel this, I am actually misunderstanding or misusing the tools for empowerment. I have truly forgotten the rules of the game.

I know better. So instead of focusing on it, I try to remember, and remember again. reconnect. choose peace. choose peace. choose peace.

I remind myself that even this, God can handle, so that means I can handle it too. There is truly apart of me that is isn't harmed at all. The more attention I give that part, the more that part will be the dominant characteristic. I won't choose "not to be affected". I will again and again choose whatever I want to grow in my life.

Over and Over again, I asked myself today: who am I in relation to this? State the facts Nakia. What is your observation? Who are you in this story? What can you create in this moment? Who would you like to be?

I deserve all that is good. I release any need for misery and suffering.
I release the need to prove myself to anyone as I am my own self and I love it that way.
I am solution minded. Any problem that comes up in life is solvable.
I am never alone. The universe supports me and is with me at every step.
My mind is filled only with loving, healthy, positive and prosperous thoughts which ultimately are converted into my life experiences.
I consciously release the past and live only in the present. That way I get to enjoy and experience life to the full.
I love myself in totality and I radiate energy.
In life I always get what I give out and I always give out love.
I live in the now and design my future. The past has no effect on my present.
I am forgiving, loving, gentle and kind and am safe in the knowledge that life loves me.

peep more here...

BECAUSE I honor God in me I see God all around me, excited and willing to contribute to peace, our peace.

I choose to be love in everything I do.

another by Saddi Khali

day 17 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

DAY 17: I feel... I can't explain, but I think it is immense joy. Immesurable love. I am letting go of a lot and I am embracing so much good- and this is not airy fairy talk right here. TODAY, IN THIS MOMENT I FEEL... SO... GOOOOOOOOOOOD (good/God- you decide)

Today I woke up feeling extraordinarily great… I really did. Yesterday I thought to myself, “Self, you bought that green scarf to get out of you all black habit. Now that you have countless pics all over the net with it, its time to get some new ones.” And that’s what I did. I bought a couple new vibrant color scarves and today I wore a melon colored one. I don’t know that altered my mood but this morning I made it a point to say good morning to everyone I saw during my 15 minute walk to the train station.

It was a beautiful start to a beautiful day. Later that morning I found out that I have fans/family/friends in Haiti. Apparently there are some students at the cinematography school that found my music (cineinstitute.com). I was ecstatic. I could not focus on things that did not matter to me (my 9-5). I mattered more in that moment and I felt so alive. I was immediately aware of how NYC can be a bubble, a nice comfortable, unique bubble, but a bubble nonetheless. There is so much here that it is easy to think that everything is here. I know on a bigger level that I WANTED to reach everyone in the world willing to listen with wide open hearts, but I had no idea that it was happening in this way, that I was winning in this way.

Funny, I’m able to see it clearly now, because I’m positive it was all happening before the detox, before my letting go. But when I am making the best effort possible to reconnect, re-center, to focus on my inner peace, to really listen, I hear everything I need to hear in the moment it happens. This goes for today and for day 5.

So THIS is what happens when I let go: I stop “working hard” at the 9-5… (its true), I’m not that excited about going and am perpetually 5 minutes late everyday… (true).

In the past I would fear losing the job and get my act together. Now though I do make the effort to get there on time and I certainly get my work done, the fear is fading and I now trust that whatever comes out of this will be for me highest good and as long as my partnership with my Self is strong, then there is nothing that I can’t overcome. And I am realizing more and more that I don’t need to be there and they would do just fine without me, really. They would. So I’m kind of going through the motions right now.

I imagine the more I let go the easier it will be to set it aside like a toy I grew out of. Not like it was the most horrible experience ever, but more like unnecessary for my survival/existence/being-ness. We make these necessary adjustments when we evolve.

I will be letting go for awhile now. I’m ‘more than alright’ with that.

day 16 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Day 16 of my 21 day mind cleanse: I'm Letting Go! I am not making anything "happen"... I am making it welcome, for it is already happening. I release what no longer serves me and am embracing the love and abundance that is ever-flowing to and through me. I am dancing in it, I am singing in it, I am breathing in it.

I mentioned the whole making it “welcome versus happen” idea in my clutter entry, but this whole blog series goes in circles, if you haven’t noticed lol.

When I let go, I also let go of specific results. If I am giving my all, then I will receive it all. But to be honest, I have NO IDEA what that looks like. Who in here does? I know what it feels like but looks, appearances, or stuff is a changing thing, so I know not to be married to a specific outcome. I know that Love knows what I desire and knows how I want to live. I also have to know that Love has imagined it ever better. So I release it all to receive everything that is coming to me. I can find God in more places then one. If I am only looking up, then imagine what I could be missing ALL AROUND ME. I’d call that a tiny god to only show up one way. I could say the same thing about my success as well.

So what is it that I need to make “happen”? Let’s venture to say a tour around the states, a partner who loves me, money to eat and live well, and a visit to Detroit every once in a while. I can work towards those things and am working towards those things. I don’t want to misinterpret this idea as “sit around and wait for the blessing”. But what I am driving home is, the idea of the universe imagining it better, and the fact that I have everything I need inside of me right now and that I am already prospering. My state wide tour could be nation wide. My partner will know the importance of loving himself first. My money is long and I give it generously. My family is with me, everywhere I go. All of these things are happening RIGHT NOW, and by letting go, I am releasing the clutter- the illusions- from the real thing.

And so, I am making a slue of possibilities welcome. This is what I mean by making it welcome. When I am trying to make something happen, I am in separation from my source, for making something happen suggests that it is not already happening, and therefore pushing it away from me even more. You ever try to feel better about your debt by thinking about it… it doesn’t work.

I speak in circles sometimes because, I myself, need the reminder over and over again. So forgive me if you can recognize some of these principles in other entries. It means more to me that I overstand them.

I’ll assume you are here for your growth and expansion as well. Consciousness proceeds form. Do you believe that? Do I?

day 15 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

yep thats me, shot by Saddi Khali who has done most of the photography on this blog, credit him and peep his work here.

Day 15 of my 21 day cleansing/detoxification of the mind. This last week will be focused on my biggest battle to date and that's LETTING GO! I acknowledge that in the past it has been very hard for me to do, but I'm not fighting anymore battles. I will choose PEACE every time. Please send energy and leave some affirmations.... I read them. I use them. I remember them. I AM them.

I remember a talk I had with my dad about fighting battles or addictions or letting what used to get to you, continue to get to you. In the beginning I likened it to a full grown fight turning into toddlers fighting, meaning when ever you feel you are confronted with “that thing” that got to you at the time of your life when you were living unconscious, it won’t be an issue in your current evolved state. He mentioned that there would always be a battle but I said that the battle would be minimal and not life shattering as it once was. I said it would be breaking up a fight between two 3 year olds as opposed to 2 men his age. Basically that the battle would get easier.

But since then, I have been introduced to a new perspective, by a close friend of mine you is very serious about living his life comfortably between pleasure and PEACE. I explained to him the conversation between my father and I, and he asked me: is it a battle if you are choosing ‘peace’. (I know what you’re thinking… and yes, I have some brilliant friends, duuuhhh they are a reflection of me, :)silly). Perhaps it was a clever play on words at the time but I understood completely and brought it back to my dad and he told me he had to “get back to me on that.”

It doesn’t have to be “to drink or not to drink” or “to over-analyze or not to over-analyze”… If my thought is creative, then what’s being heard by the universe is “drink” or “over-analyze”. When I am doing the “this or that” dance what I am REALLY doing is stressing. It’s like when a meditation leader tells you to “not think” of something. That’s almost impossible. It’s much easier to think of “something else”. That “something else” for me will be (is) PEACE. When I choose peace first, I am choosing God first and when I choose God first, I am putting my Self first. The other stuff is just stuff, (energy that doesn’t really serve my well being), so why give it a first a second thought at all.

I am practicing choosing to Be love, peace, joy, abundance, awesomeness, whole, perfect health, the perfect partner, creative being, performance artist, and so much more of what consists of God Consciousness. When I place my energy and focus on these aspects, the other “stuff” falls away. I release it all. I release what ever must fall away and I release the newness that I am embracing, knowing that I am in the flow.

I release and let go of any thought that doesn’t speak to who I REALLY am.

No more supporting the illusion.

day 13 and 14 (weekend) of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

From a church in Harlem... why?

Day 13 and 14 (weekend) I'm looking deeply at allowing vs tolerating-- observing vs judging... I'm ready to talk about it, I'm here for my growth, I'll assume you are too.

As I am connecting to my guidance system more and more I find myself wanted to shut my mouth. Not because I have nothing to say, but more because I know that my thought and my word (together) create on a certain level. I ask myself on a regular basis, "who am I in this moment? what role am I playing? what would I like to experience in this moment? what am I creating? what am I contributing?" Its another Virgo trait I think. I have been told that virgos don't do alot of debating and in most cases they refuse. Mainly because we'd rather be a fly in the wall and learn from whats happening. And if we do find ourselves being active in a debate, we go for blood. 2 extremes, and are somewhat true with me. But lately, I am silent because I am continuously checking in to what I know the big picture is. If I say anything I must remind myself and the reader that this view supports who I am and where I see myself. It supports my highest good; this is what I know from my experience; these are my truths; this is serving me.

No where in there does it say: this is 'right' or 'the only way' and you are 'wrong' if you don't agree. (judgment)

When I am speaking to others who say that they want a thing, or experience something specific in mind, yet they do the complete opposite; if we are having a discussion about it and they want my feedback or ask for help, my wanting is for them for them be their own guidance. My words would be something like, "you are always talking about going to the right and how great right is and how you'd love to experience it, but all the while you are not looking to the right. You have been gazing at left for a while, and have even ventured in the upward direction. Now I don't know if you've changed your mind along the way, but I believe you have a good idea about which way is right", followed by encouragements.

Now that's a tricky example but take directions out and insert anything, colors, numbers, you get my point. What I am pointing out is the main difference between making judgments and making observations- describing what simply is without labeling it god or bad. Once I put it into these terms, I can see if a thing contributes to my well being and if it does not then it simply isn't for me. If I've gone left, then I just simply choose again and make the necessary adjustments. But I won't call left bad, because that way may work for someone else and if God is all there is then who's "bad"?

I am learning the difference between allowing and toleration. I am who I am though I am always changing, evolving... I am happy with whom I become. And though another may be different from me, it is still good. It is still a blessing. Though I know myself to be freer then before I knew these truths, I would encourage everyone who is happy with their path, to stay on it. Love is so full and big that it is unnecessary to think that there is only one road to it. Plus a world of conformity and sameness, lessens creativity and I would never do that, nor could I succeed if I wanted to.

I'm finding that allowing is very different from tolerating because when I tolerate something, I let it be but I am not happy about it, and therefore binding myself with negativity. We all know enough about energy and circulation. It does me no good to not like something and do nothing about it, other then.... not like it. I see others in their religion sometimes and I wonder what's in it for them to try to get another to cross over to their ways. It must be the dominion god that some people serve. But I bless those people as well, for a candle lit in the sun cannot be seen.

So yeah, I am kinda quiet lately... I desire peace in all of my dealings, and I must know that everybody knows whats best for their highest good. And whatever suffering we are going through is temporary.

I'm learning to speak, think, believe and know a new language. I hope I am communicating effectively.

day 12 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Day 12 of my 21 day MIND detox-- I am detoxing my home. clearing the clutter, making room for new thought, new love, new movement, new way, new life... I'm releasing what doesn't serve me... lovely. Its time to burn some sage

Today, I stayed home from the 9 to 5 hustle. I matter more (always). I needed a personal day, a deeply rooted personal day and I did a lot of nothing, which is what I really needed. I spent 3 hours playing with my bass, Rooty, and I cleaned. I will be cleaning for a while but I started today. I have been doing a lot of cleansing in the mind so it’s only natural that I see things outside myself that need cleansed as well. (I think the next detox I do will be with food, for a week though cuz I’m a skinny minny.)

Last weekend, Baba gave me some sage to burn and commented on how clear the energy was in my apartment. Baba is the elder that referred to me as his God-Daughter. I was happy he felt that way because he was extremely helpful to me when I went to him after the robbery. So him saying that really meant a lot. He said it seemed balanced, and clear and light. That also lets me know that when I feel exhausted, unproductive, tired, and uninspired when I come home sometimes, it has more to do with ME and my energy then it does with the apartment. Everything I need is inside of me. I have everything I need and more.

I burn frankincense and sage on a regular basis and today was definitely the day to double up. I am embracing so much newness and abundance and I am expecting so much more, yet I have not made many aspects of my life welcome just yet. I am making my mind, brain, spirit ready, yet I don’t want to “live” there. The idea is for both the mind to be open and the feet to be grounded, where ever I am. There are things in my outer reality that are shifting significantly.

I remember once in my foundations class we were discussing prayer and our power and intention. The instructor mentioned something like “we are not making anything ‘happen’; we are not asking for something to ‘happen”. We are making it ‘welcome’. Well being is flowing to us always. Abundance is all around us. We see it naturally when we look at nature- can you count grains of sand, leaves on a tree, waves in an ocean? No, it is never-ending. There is an infinite flow of goodness always flowing to us, yet WE tend to get in the way. And by we, I mean me (or whoever will ponder this), and who I really mean is EGO, (Edging God Out).

My ego blocks the divine stream of pure energy. Anytime I feel alone, or like I need to do something by myself and that I HAS to be this way only, not only am I moving from my ego, I am setting myself up for destruction because those actions/thoughts/feelings lead me to grow attached to a specific outcome and when that outcome doesn’t come, pain shows up gladly.

No, I am never alone and I have a permanent partnership with the Divine, which include other people. I embrace it all. And in embracing it all, I must release what does not serve me to make room. I have been doing a great job with this detox and it has opened my eyes and now I see what’s in my home that does not contribute to my peace. And I’ve been looking at it everyday…

So I am cleaning house, in more ways then one.

day 11 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

2006 rehearsal, bustin a gut with Dom :)

Day 11 of my 21 day Detox of the mind: I am finding that most of my meditations are centered around attraction and reflections. People can only show me the dominant thought that I hold for them. Today I understand that when I practice the BEST in myself, I bring out the best in others. Negative thoughts don't serve me or the person I am thinking them about.

We are all multifaceted beings. And how many of us have taken full responsibility of what has happened to you in our lives? Really? When I know my thoughts are creative, when I know my worth, when I love me and take care of me, when it matters more to me how I feel, there are certain things that I DO, (see last entry on be-do-have). There have been times in the past where I have cried and have said words like, “you made me cry” or “she/he did this to me”. Now I understand that when ever I am down, I am out of alignment of who I really am. I have forgotten why I came forth to this extraordinary world, which is to experience, know, be and create who I really am. Because I have this awareness, it is sometimes hard for me to get back up, because I know on some level I put myself there. And yes, I can easily pick myself up, but let’s face it, its hard to stand when you are weak. I felt that way before I started this detox. I just kept reminding myself that it was temporary and that I have to connect to who I really am again and again… and again. It is a beautiful process of knowing, forgetting, remembering, knowing, forgetting, remembering.

But I am puling the strings in either allowing something to bother me, or not seeing the full picture of what has occurred.

If I practice knowing my worth, feeling good, loving me, taking care of me, I am projecting that into the universe. I attract just that. I see only that, because it exists very clearly in my mind first. I expect it. Its plain to see this with children, with friends, with co workers, with family. You hear others talk about them in a negative way: This child is wild/ I can’t stand Lisa, she always gossips/ here comes auntie Rose, always beggin. But when that child, or Lisa, or Rose comes and sits next to you, you have a totally different experience with them. That child is a joy, full of energy, wanting to love you and tell you of the greatness he’s discovered. Lisa is very comfortable with you and likes talking about life and the steps she’s taking to make her life better. Rose sees you and is very proud of what you’ve become. Proud to show you off to her friends on the block. She can’t stop smiling.

This is VERY true for me. I have no idea how these beings are when they are not with me. But I do know that it has a lot to do with the energy I carry. It has a lot to do with my expectations. So even if the child is “wild”, I know wild is a judgment based on past experiences of others and to think that of another aspect of God doesn’t really serve me. THAT child is not showing me “wild”. That child is showing me “wonder”. I know this because that is what I am looking for in that child. And who knows, maybe Lisa and Auntie Rose know that I don’t go for gossipin and beggin. They know this because they know that I know my worth. If you fed your children fruits and vegetables on a regular basis and was very diligent and specific in their quest to health and others see that, they wouldn't dare offer them a snickers without asking YOU first. It’s the same with you too. When you take care of you, when you MATTER to you, other see that and approach you in a like matter.

If my dominant thought about someone is, “He ain’t sh!t” then it will be impossible for me to see anything other than that in them. Not to mention (and I haven’t even started with this yet) WE ARE ONE! If I have that kind of thought about another, then on some level I am thinking that thought for me. Especially if I am truly effected by this person. It is certainly a reflection of me, as opposites do not attract. On top of all that, who feels “good” thinking those thoughts anyway?

Its starts inside, always. I practice the best in me so it’s not a task to see the best in others. And they bring it out when they are around me.

day 10 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Marvin Gaye Tribute- I sang Flyin High in a Friendly Sky... Katie Piper caught me takin off

Day 10 of my 21 detox of the mind: I remember that "the basis of my life is Freedom; the purpose of my life is JOY" (Abraham-Hicks) -marinate on that, while I have my naked-dancing-without-curtains time... I feel great

Be Do Have

There are some people who have it backwards. I was definitely one of them. I thought if I had the things I wanted, I can do what I wanted and then be happy- If I had a million dollars, I could feel free to travel the world, and then I’d be happy. And we all know (or you at least know me to believe) that thought is creative. And a thought like that keeps you waiting and certainly UNhappy. Waiting to be happy, waiting to do what you really want to do. But if I reverse it I can experience what I intend at a much rapid pace, pretty much immediately considering there’s no time in the Divine.

I can BE peace. From this being-ness I DO what’s natural for me and what brings me more peace. By default I am attracting who I am. I HAVE more of the energy that I project. I HAVE everything I need and more, because I am my source. I am peace, (an aspect of the Divine)

I can BE happy. From this state of being, I DO what comes natural for me. I DO what happy does. I HAVE everything I need and more. By default I am calling forth things and circumstances that are of a like essence.

I can BE free. I am FREE. I DO free (rather well). I HAVE FREEDOM. I attract those who are free, who either know it, or need a reminder.

I can go straight to BE and not wait to experience all that comes next. At the end of the day, I believe that’s what we all want. When we fuss over money or the lack there of, its usually: a million dollar check would clear up my debt and I could pay my bills, do what I want, and feel free, feel less like I owe anyone, feel no fear, doubt, worry, or concern. Be real with yourself. If someone gave you that check right now, you wouldn’t dare sit pretty on it, and do nothing, and feel like you got what you really wanted. What you really wanted was freedom, peace, happiness, joy, love, worth, or worthiness, strength, abundance, prosperity, grounded-ness, holy, fulfilled, LOVED. BUT YOU ARE THOSE THINGS (my bad… too pushy/preachy/shouldy. You will have to decide that on your own, but I will always remind you). now where was I….. BUT I AM THOSE THINGS ALREADY! All of this is an aspect of the Divine, and if God is all there is, then that means me too. I can know that now and experience those things RIGHT NOW, this instant.

I am strengthening my knowing. Though it started with faith, I wouldn’t call it faith today. Faith leads into believing. Believing leads to knowing.

My knowing is strong. My knowing is strong. My knowing is strong. My knowing is strong. M knowing is strong. My knowing is strong. My knowing is strong. My knowing is STRONG. MY KNOWING IS STRONG. MY KNOWING IS STRONG. MY KNOWING IS STRONG. MY KNOWING IS STRONG. MY KNOWING IS STRONG.

day 9 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Day 9 of my 21 Day Detox of the mind was actually a quiet and reflective day. I didn't say much and my meditations were longer today. Maybe I am remembering to create time to listen. Love communicates to us always, how often are we listening?

And that’s what I did today. Meditation is kind of hard for me. I don’t know if my virgo side is always seeking to over analyze, but its hard to let go and focus on my breath, because I tend to have A LOT of head chatter. But today I worked hard at soothing my chatter. Rubbing it on its back. Calming it down. Massaging the chatters fingers. I took extra time to be a loving mother to the chatter. In the past I was a yelling mother to her. Now I am learning to be there and console. My head was busy today but my heart never gave up. My heart was there to love me head to silence. I took extra care and time today.

I actually don’t know what to say, so I won’t force it… Ase

day 8 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

me and my mama at opening night 2006

Today I remember the importance of relationships. I use all of my relationships (familial/friends/romantic) to help define and create the highest idea I ever held of myself. If I find that a relationship no longer serves me, I make the necessary adjustments for my health, spirit, and sanity. Experiencing the ever-expansion of my Self is my intention.

How can you know yourself as tall without knowing short? How can you know yourself as kind unless you do someone a kindness? How can you know what it means to forgive unless someone spites you? What other ways can you experience these things if it weren't for relationships? (seriously).

I haven't brought up my album in a while (purposely), but I have an album entitled REMEMBER ME, and for the bonus track (title track), I did a piece inspired by a story by Neale Donald Walsch. read it here. It changed my life, and its a short read...... and WE'RE BACK!

Since reading this story, I have looked at all of my relationships as such. Monsters and victims disappeared immediately. An immense amount of gratitude came over me as I saw all the "bad" guys in my relationship defining who I am today, and what I REALLY WANT. Even the relationships I have with my family lead me to be conscious of the places in my life where I am governed by love or fear. I don't know how I would have known this without them. I was OPEN after reading that story. We live in the world of relativity. And I love it. I know that I am choosing it all, and I have certainly called forth the opposite so that I may no myself as mySelf.

Now I no longer need to call forth the opposite, for I have enough experience to know who I truly am. But I must REMEMBER it. Yet we are creators, creating our experiences, situations, and our lives. Relationships enable me to create my circumstances, and myself actively. And when the relationship doesn't serve me, I make the necessary adjustment of either by reworking it in my mind to make sense, offer suggestions that both parties could take part in, or leave. Either way, I have a choice in the matter. I HAVE to choose. And as long as I’m choosing, I am creating. I am authoring my experience, my life.

and as long as I am working on me, I know that I am attracting someone who is doing the same. That way, we can work on ourselves individually and naturally (and actively) contribute to each-others well being… (to be continue as relationship “talk” will never be complete).

day 6 and 7 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

(Green calcite is a grounding and centering stone that brings stability. It increases success, prosperity, business, and fertility of all kinds. It is an excellent stone for gardening. It is also considered a stone of manifestation because of it's ability to develop increase in all areas.)

On Day 6 and 7 of my 21 Day Detox of the Mind, I remembered the law of attraction and circulation, respectively. I've chosen to combine the post because the laws are somewhat intertwined and... well, cuz IT WAS THE WEEKEND!!!

I briefly discussed this in the "energy" blog, but a lot of people mistaken the law or attraction and the law of circulation for karma or what goes around comes around. Now, I won't get into how others feel, but I know when I hear phrases like that, I think of action only. I get stuck in the doing. I very rarely hear about energy, or giving in joy.

Law of attraction- creating with your thoughts, attracting what you give your attention to, attracting who you are (opposites do not attract- on some level you and your alleged opposite line up identically).

Every thought is a prayer and worrying is like praying for what you DON'T want to happen. And just as I used to get chased by many dogs because I was scared, I am always attracting that which I give my attention to. Luckily I have the buffer of time and I am consciously moving intentional thoughts. My current life is the result of my past thoughts. With this detox I am practicing on a regular basis, FEELING GOOD. and attracting it. And time is actually on my side as I am changing my life at a rapid speed.

Law of circulation- being in the flow, giving from a loving place, knowing that I have everything I need and more, being eager to give, and knowing that I am in the flow. Remembering that abundance is my birthright. Walking with a abundant, prosperous, never ending stream of goodness-consciousness, making this my mantra. RELEASING THE "I AIN'T GOT NO-" MANTRA! I am in the flow of my good and there is enough for everyone.

No one wants to play catch with a ball hog and if I am feeling "bad" about my giving I am not in the flow of "good".

If I am giving to get "it", then I never had "it" in the first place and through law of attraction, the universe will match my believing of "not having it" with "nothing".

******
I had a beautiful weekend. I went to brunch in my neighborhood, bought a couple of books from a specialty book store and bought some stones in union sq, with an elder (who introduced me as his God Daughter-I was pleasantly surprised). I bought and am studying lapis, azeztulite, green calcite (pictured), spectrolite, rose quartz, amethyst, and moss agate. If God is all there is, then that includes the minerals and plants and their healing/aiding properties. I am not lending my power to these things because I know I have everything I need to access inside of me, but I will not discount the world around me when it can assist me in accessing me.

These stones are new to me. My first encounter with one (spectrolite) was very magical. I can't say that I am having a similar experience this time around. Maybe a while back with spectrolite, I had a huge blockage of energy somewhere, and it was opened... and now it's kinda in between. I have no idea. But I continue to meditate and quiet my thoughts, with and without a stone, for I know when I practice this, I am really practicing quieting my mind so my heart can be heard more clearly.

And Sunday, i spent the most of the day recording. Each time I was on the train, I meditated, (an hour and 15 mins each way).

This week, I must incorporate some affirmations. But I feel a difference and am so proud of me.

I'm doin great

day 5 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Today I said thank you, ALL Day. I am remembering Gratitude, and relearning how to think independently of any situation. Today I am winning in the most beautiful ways and I am so grateful. I am grateful for ALL Things no matter how they appear in this moment. I know that it is all in Divine Order for me to REAL-IZE my power. And I know that it is all God (typo, but I'm keepin it)...

Soooooooo, something happened yesterday that under normal circumstances, I would have fell to pieces. But because I'm leaving normal and headed toward exceptional (because I've been practicing feeling good), it didn't bother me as much. A bright light went off and it was what I needed. Though it hurt me, the hurt did not last long because all week I've been walking in love and knowing that everything is unfolding as it should. I needed to see and hear it the way that I did. And all day today, I kept saying thank you. I walked taller than I ever walked before today. I'm loving this whole "think independently of the situation" thing. I did a great job and no one will get in the way of me getting ME out of the way for spirit to flow freely.

My ego was so quiet and non-existent today. It stayed in its box and did not interrupt my love walk. I allowed the outer circumstances to be. I did not try to change it and sparked such a strong force of compassion and it was so easy to let go of what I've been holding so closely to me for 4 years (by force [ego]).

Meditation has helped me tremendously this week. I think next week (monday), I will incorporate some affirmations.

I'm alive and choosing well, and I am grateful to know these truths.

Nakia

day 4 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Energy. I remembered energy. I actually had “the law of circulation” in mind but I Energy came up first during my 2^nd meditation. And I think it’s better to speak about it before the law of circulation because “stuff” is usually thought of when throw in terms and phrases like “Karma”, “What Goes Around Comes Back Around”, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” or “Give and you shall receive”. There is a lot of “action” implied in all of that, but not much is discussed about energy, so I’m grateful for that inspiration to come through as clear as it did. I’m finding all of this consistent meditation is quieting my chatty mind, but it’s a journey, a process.

Today I was very conscious of the energy I contributed. I paid a bill today and was not all that happy about it. I could feel myself getting discouraged about my financial situation. I felt like I was lacking everything I “needed” and that I would never make it above water. I brought that energy to my 11am meditation, and sat with it for a minute. And then I remembered a talk from Creative Light Spiritual Center entitled “Money is Love”. (Now, it could have been the talk, or it could have been God, but what’s the difference if God is all there it is.)

I was reminded about energy- that everything is energy, even money. And if I want anything to change about my relationship with money then I need to remember again and again that money is Love. The energy I put behind it must be balanced and clear as well. I cannot feel bad about giving money, loaning it, paying a bill, giving to the homeless. If I feel bad when I’m giving, I am giving the receiver my “bad”. That may be hard to hear as some would like to believe that if I am giving money to anyone then I would get it back somehow, cuz I gave it. But on the contrary, if while if I am giving and I am coming from a thought of lack, or not enoughness, (I’m giving to get = I never had it in the 1^st place…this bill is always so high when I pay it= I never have enough for it… I loaned you my last= and I’m not gonna get more)… yeah, all of THAT, if I am giving money and I’m putting all that energy behind it, then I cannot be surprised when I get it RIGHT BACK. Ain’t no million dollar check comin from THAT!!!!

Today I was very conscious of the energy I contributed. I am always looking to contribute, love, abundance, prosperity, healing, wholeness, togetherness, and ease to my life, to wherever I am and to anyone I encounter.

Ase

day 3 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Today I remembered that my thought is creative. I feel really good. As I said earlier, I'm still adding to the program and I think I will add some dance time. I think I wanna create time to bug out in my place. I feel REALLY good when do this. Today, I came home and cooked and did this incense dance with Frank-incense all around my apartment. I've been told that burning frankincense has the same effect as burning sage as far as clearing unwanted energy. I just like the way it smells and it felt good dancing with it around my place.

Back to remembering... Today I recalled the creative process, the triune nature of it, (conscious thought/seed - subjective mind/soil - manifestation/form). This is God, and I am one in and of it, meaning when I have a thought it is projected outward into the ether and produces form. Every thought is a prayer and with enough attention to it, produces form. Today I remembered to pay close attention to what I was thinking and how I see my life. I was very conscious of the energy I released.

In the past I was known for "practicing" a thought of insecurity, lack, fear, worry, concern...etc. And though I am making the necessary changes now and am very aware of it, the goal is to make the "New Thought" a habit. It will become natural for me to rework things in my head so that feel better about them. I will use the creative process and I won't let it use me...

My thoughts are conscious and not sub/unconscious. My thought behind my thought (sponsoring thought) is full of love, expansion, more than enough ness, joy, abundance, ease, excitement, passion, and smiles).

I am making the effort to be in constant prayer...

Nakia

day 2 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Today I remember that if Love is all there is, then that includes me too. I am one in the Divine Presence of Love/God/Goddess/Universe/Source Energy/Joy/Abundance/Prosperity/Well Being--- LOVE.

I found a quiet spot at my job for my reconnect time. Yesterday, (day one) I tried reconnecting in a bathroom stall but I'm sure you can imagine how that turned out... I am finding it to be a bit easier though and I am also noticing my looking forward to it (7,11,3,7,11)... Today I missed one because of a recording session but I made up for it while on my train ride home. I was sitting next to a friend and told him that I needed to take a moment for some deep breaths and was surprised in the end when I saw him doing the same. We meditated together. I was grateful for that.

Today I started my morning by saying over and over again: I am made of love. I am made of light. I said it for about 45 minutes. It was great for reprogramming my "computer" because I heard it often while at work.

The challenge that I am having is journalling/blogging about it. Currently it is 1:20am and I am UP! It was a long day and I am very tired, but am committed to this process. So even if its a journal entry just to check in on how I'm feeling, I must do it. I am making a bigger effort to pay attention to my emotions, when I'm feeling less than good and when I'm feeling good. It matters more (now than ever), how I feel.

I feel really good, and I know I'm doing a great job.

I am love and I love you dearly for checking on me, (seriously).

Nakia