Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I have noticed part 2-- CLARIFICATION

Ok, so with all of the deaths that have occurred recently that are connected to bullying, I see that people are easily affected when a bully is mentioned in the same dialogue as “feelings”. I accept and acknowledge that.

So I'm not shocked that I get responses such as this on my wall and in my personal inbox on fb, (ppl don't like to see other ppl down).

But let me assure you, that bullies need to be reminded of who they really are just like everyone else, maybe even more so. So do not expect me- Nakia Henry, who has written an entire album about loving yourself, appreciating all things, and remembering who you really are- to ever jump on the “F*CK THEM BULLIES” bandwagon. Even if you feel like you have to punch them to defend yourself or your loved ones… after picking them up from the ground encourage them to do better. Love them back to connection, because surly if someone thinks they have to hurt others to heal their hurt, they are truly disconnected. Or at the very least, pray for them.

I am addressing this here because most people have read my last entry and are responding to it as if it is an entry about bullies.

The only reason I brought them up was to display how I developed a behavior pattern. Do I have bullies today? Absolutely not. Am I still hurt by bullies in the past? No.

My question is this: Where is the Divine in a stiff, guarded individual?

There are certain situations where I don’t feel I am emotionally free-free to feel. In the past, I had a smart ass comeback so not to appear affected by anyone bothering me at the time. But it never really made me “feel” better. Today, I’m lessening the comebacks and am wanting to respond honestly, but at times I feel that my feelings should be kept inside. I know that sounds unhealthy and unfair (to me), and it is, but it’s a habit that I’ve fed. Either say something smart or keep how you feel to yourself. It’s really one in the same as ‘saying something smart’ and ‘keeping it inside’ cause turmoil (outer and inner).

Again, this is a pattern that I’ve noticed, because I am on my path of Self Mastery. It’s a pattern that no longer serves me and I’m wondering if anyone has mastered this. Can the logical mind and a free feeling heart coexist?

Or is it of matter of not being consumed or controlled by your feelings? Have your feelings, and express freely and decide for yourself if having it serves you. (?)

I'd like to go with the latter, but I'd like as many perspectives as possible :)

Do you have any examples?

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