SMILE (lyrics and music)

Its gonna come, more happy days
But I gotta keep living and I'll make my way
And there's no complaints because I'm sure
I gotta lot to be grateful for

I'll be more than alright
I'll be better than fine

I wrote a song like to hear it here it go
It sounds like this cuz I'm poor
and ain't nothin funny bout bein poor
cuz I still gotta lot to smile

Like when I'm goin through my day, it ain't too much for me to take some time out and play
Get a group of people its better that way, gotta keep smilin- Ashe Ashe

Its gonna come, more happy days
But I gotta keep living and I'll make my way
And there's no complaints because I'm sure
I gotta lot to be grateful for

I'll be more than alright
I'll be better than fine

Second verse, like to hear it here it go
It sure is hard bein poor
But singin bout bein poor
Won't bring me no doh'

I know I'll be financially free, own a house and build a family
Oh I look forward to that day, until then I'm smilin Ashe Ashe

Its gonna come, more happy days
But I gotta keep living and I'll make my way
And there's no complaints because I'm sure
I gotta lot to be grateful for

I'll be more than alright
I'll be better than fine

I wanna manifest light, Let everybody know that I'm better then fine
You wanna see happy then you should look at me, living my life faithfully

Ashe

(From REMEMBER ME)

Transition (lyrics)

Don't know if its the Virgo in me, Or the way that I was raised to be
That keeps me constantly stressin, And missing all the great things
in this life, its passing me by

So I've been tryin to find things that ground me, Show compassion to my friends and family
Learning how to love without condition, but I forget to love me
So easily, is it how I choose to be

Well, I've decided...
That I forgive me
Its my decision, and I've decided
to Live my life and not let life live me
I forgive me

Back straight, head up, don't look down now, show my beautiful face
I'm fine, it's cool, I just fell down, but down
I won't stay, I refuse to stay

My past is a piece of me, Don't want to be the girl I used to be
I think its time I leave her be, she wasn't serving me
So I release thee, lovingly

And I decided...
I've gotta leave, I love you girl but I've gotta leave
And I've decided, I love you little girl...
but there's a beautiful Woman, waiting for me (waiting to be me)

Deep inside I hear a voice say...
(I hear it, and it telling me I love you, and today I'm saying, "I love you too" [from album version]))

Today I'm focused on the love within me, and all the gifts I have to give
Today I hear the God within me, and I choose to live and I've decided to live

So I'm gonna live...

(from REMEMBER ME)

LOVE LETTER (HELP ME!)

I have a song that I'd like to share for free. I would include it on my next album but I want to share the single for FREE! Help me get Erykah Badu's attention. She's @fatbellybella and I am @afromanticnakia I would love for her to here what I've done to her sample.




HELP ME SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL!!!! (the legit way)

I have noticed part 2-- CLARIFICATION

Ok, so with all of the deaths that have occurred recently that are connected to bullying, I see that people are easily affected when a bully is mentioned in the same dialogue as “feelings”. I accept and acknowledge that.

So I'm not shocked that I get responses such as this on my wall and in my personal inbox on fb, (ppl don't like to see other ppl down).

But let me assure you, that bullies need to be reminded of who they really are just like everyone else, maybe even more so. So do not expect me- Nakia Henry, who has written an entire album about loving yourself, appreciating all things, and remembering who you really are- to ever jump on the “F*CK THEM BULLIES” bandwagon. Even if you feel like you have to punch them to defend yourself or your loved ones… after picking them up from the ground encourage them to do better. Love them back to connection, because surly if someone thinks they have to hurt others to heal their hurt, they are truly disconnected. Or at the very least, pray for them.

I am addressing this here because most people have read my last entry and are responding to it as if it is an entry about bullies.

The only reason I brought them up was to display how I developed a behavior pattern. Do I have bullies today? Absolutely not. Am I still hurt by bullies in the past? No.

My question is this: Where is the Divine in a stiff, guarded individual?

There are certain situations where I don’t feel I am emotionally free-free to feel. In the past, I had a smart ass comeback so not to appear affected by anyone bothering me at the time. But it never really made me “feel” better. Today, I’m lessening the comebacks and am wanting to respond honestly, but at times I feel that my feelings should be kept inside. I know that sounds unhealthy and unfair (to me), and it is, but it’s a habit that I’ve fed. Either say something smart or keep how you feel to yourself. It’s really one in the same as ‘saying something smart’ and ‘keeping it inside’ cause turmoil (outer and inner).

Again, this is a pattern that I’ve noticed, because I am on my path of Self Mastery. It’s a pattern that no longer serves me and I’m wondering if anyone has mastered this. Can the logical mind and a free feeling heart coexist?

Or is it of matter of not being consumed or controlled by your feelings? Have your feelings, and express freely and decide for yourself if having it serves you. (?)

I'd like to go with the latter, but I'd like as many perspectives as possible :)

Do you have any examples?

I have noticed...

that I have been conditioned to be extremely defensive. (I am of sound mind to acknowledge it).

I was teased from the moment I was in glasses til... When I cried, they laughed more and when I expressed how I felt to my family they said "if you don't go back outside to play or to 'hit him back' then I will give you something to cry about!"

Needless to say I have always played out in my mind someone saying something negative to me and then of course, my smart ass comeback. I played this out in advance. I wore a mean face to match it as well. And like magic (not really) I attracted numerous opportunities to test out my comebacks.

They reacted to my face, or found something to pick on me about and I"d make them feel dumb or horrible. And I got it all. They f*cked with me about my thick glasses, my nose, my nappy hair, my skinny everything, my eyes... what ever.

I wanted to have something to say back. I didn't want to be teased and I didn't want my parents to give me something to cry about.

Today I recalled the last (and final) time my mother slapped me. I was washing the dishes and she came beside yellin about ... somthin. And she slapped me, and I slowly turned around and gave her a smirk, and she left like she saw the devil. (lol) I remember feeling good that I did that, like I was telling her that she couldn't do it anymore, like I was showing her how silly it was that she felt she needed to do that (my ready and rehearsed comeback).

But then I also remember running upstairs to one of my oldest sisters crying and complaining about her, saying "why would she do that."

So my smirk (or comeback of any kind) really didn't heal much or make me "feel".

its FEAR

Yet, fear is too easy. It's rooted in a lot of our "stuff". Lets get more specific.

In my wanting to defend myself every time someone "makes me feel bad", I am not focusing or acknowledging "my feeling bad". How does a child know how to express themselves if they can't cry to their parents? Now, I understand that I should stand up for myself, but I don't think I have to ignore my feelings to do that.

What I'm getting at is I don't know if I am emotionally free, or ever knew how to be, or ever thought that it was ok to be.

When I expressed my emotions in the past I was told that I was a cry baby, and people either teased me or threaten to whoop me. Now today, my heady voice can say "well maybe it was my ego because I was attached to a specific end. I wanted to be accepted and because I wasn't, I tried to block all emotion because I knew people would respond the way I DIDN'T want them to. Why would I want to knowingly piss them off, giving them further ammunition and reason to f*ck with me"... which is partly true (kids start lying the day when they tell the truth about something and are punished).

My heady voice would also say "if you want to be emotionally free, then you have to give that freedom as well. You can't control how people are affected by you. Actually people CHOOSE to be affected by you"...

My heady voice is very logical and I bless it, but still. Where is the feeling. When will I begin to feel freely without judgment, or stepping on eggshells so not to "hurt" someone elses feelings.

What does that even mean?

right now I don't know but I certainly still feel that by not expressing how I feel contributes to peace and comfort in certain situations. funny thing is I also KNOW that 'not speaking up' and 'peace' ARE not the same thing because of how it feels bottled inside.

Right now I don't have an answer, but I know somewhere I am emotionally free, I have a conscious mind, and courage and strength gets me through anything.

Any suggestions?

21st Day Dusk Meditation

This is what Dusk looked like on my 21st day (July 4th)... Beyond Blessed, and Truly Grateful

Thats me... yeah thats about it

on the roof... currently my favorite place... yeah, just because. I'll get intentional with it lata

I've been...

Meditating at dusk lately. I tried dawn this morning but missed the break. I still have some residual "hurt" but I soothe myself on a regular basis. I honor it, because I know before letting it go of a thing, I must see it and hold it first. I won't ignore it.

But what I know is that while I was stressing a few weeks ago, I was the only one, meaning no one was doing the same for me. No one shed a tear for me.

I know my worth today. I don't want anyone crying or dying for me and I will think twice before I find myself in a similar situation because I know the other doesn't want me down either. I know that when I focus on my hurt, the hurt grows and becomes my reality. It becomes less temporary.

Though I still have some residual hurt to let go of, I feel so much better and am learning to appreciate the contrast. Blessing it. I now know and have a better understanding of what I DO NOT want. Now is the best time create and experience whats actually true.

My next album will be fukkin amazing lol...

day 21 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

light painting with Saddi Khali

Day 21 of my 21 day detox of the mind, July 4th I celebrate 'thinking independently of any situation' day. I celebrate being awake and choosing consciously. I celebrate inner peace. I celebrate Spirit... Thank you for witnessing me creating a habit. And the spiritual practice continues...

This 21 Day detox was designed to create a healthy habit. It is a process. A reminder to reconnect. A reminder to realign to who I really am. Life will not stop happening, but how I deal and how I'm affected will be in my control. I am choosing it all. I am choosing to be down, up, left, right, sad, happy, defeated, success, bored, creative... all of it. No one is "making me feel" anything.

I don't want to be the effect anymore. I want to be the cause of my pleasurable experience. When I am the cause, then others will know and want to contribute. I will not make them the source (anymore). They will know how to treat me, because I know how to treat me. And the opposite is true as well. If someone is bothering me, or I feel like I'm being abused, then they are learning from the best abuser (me). I'm blessing it and stepping away.

I feel really good.

I have found away to soothe myself whenever I am in a situation where in the past, I was ready to fall to pieces. I fell to pieces before this detox and today I re-membered me. I re-membered the laughter and the determination that I am. I re-membered the been hurt and been fixed that I am. I re-membered the all of the Divine aspects that I am. I re-membered all of the pieces. The many members of me looked at each other and recalled how beautiful and strong I am. They looked at each other and saw wisdom. They saw all knowing. They saw the all of them and felt whole. The members of me celebrated their (w)holiness when I put them together again. I know how to reconnect. I know how to soothe me. I am open to more methods but I can stand firm on mine.

I look forward to life now. I look forward to winning this games. I am grateful to know the rules. I am grateful to know that no matter how bad things were, that I didn't die and I'm still here. I am grateful to go on, with enthusiasm. I am grateful to know that I live within abundance, which means, I don't have to settle for SHIT. I don't have to wait for someone else to change their mind so that I can be happy. I am grateful to know that I have everything and more inside of me, including my happiness. My happiness comes from me, through me. Outside sources contribute, but they are NOT the source. I am married to my inner-being and though it is an open relationship, I must commit to her first.

I am grateful to share these truths, for I know when I share with you, I am sharing with me. We are one. My hope for this series aside from my transformation, is that you can somehow believe that they too, have EVERYTHING AND MORE INSIDE OF YOU. That you are pulling your own strings all ways.

Remember how beautiful you are. Remember how strong you are. Remember WHO YOU REALLY ARE. Remember we are one. and when you remember you, you will have also remembered me.

Remember Me

Nakia

day 20 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Day 20 of my 21 Day detox of the mind: "FEELS LIKE I'M WALKIN ON WATER, AND THERES NO WAY FOR ME TO DROOOWWN. I'M TIPPY TOE'IN ON THE HEAVENS AND DON'T WANNA COME DOOOOWWWN" this is how I feel -from "Heaven" who know the rest [PREVIEW THE SONG]


I feel alive.

day 19 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Day 19 of my 21 day detox: releasing 'common' (unconscious). Embracing 'mastery' (Conscious)... Its all making sense now, I am truly re-membering all the beautiful pieces of me. I am living my life, awake. I am listening.

Saddi Khali

"On this day of your life, Nakia, I believe God wants you to know that mastery is not measured by the number of terrible things you eliminate from your life, but by the number of times you eliminate calling them terrible."

This is am email I got a long time ago from subscribing to Neale Donald Walsch's site, the author of Conversations with God. I know that this detox is aiding me in being aware of my choices and reminding me that I created it all. I created everything I am going through in my life either by being the effect or being the cause. I want to forever be the cause. The pen is in my hand and I am open for spirit to pour through me my reality of well being.

This detox has helped me let go of so much just in the matter of 3 weeks. I definitely feel different and more responsible then ever before. I am more and more uncomfortable at my 9-5 and its only a matter of time before I release it. I know that I am holding on to it by fear as it says nothing of love or fulfillment. Right now I have it for my bills. and That's it. Wow... did I just say that. Even the truth scares ME sometimes. But I will set that creation forward. I know what my thought is doing. So I own it and stand firm in abundance. i stand firm in the knowing that I will prosper and feel free to share my good when I am doing what I love most.

Fear is something I will have to consciously release/let go of daily. It is a monster that has been fed for years. Well, monster isn't the best word. But its the part of me that no longer serves me. So I bless it, because it reminds me that I am more. That Love is real and at the end of the day, LOVE IS ALL THERE IS. So when I am faced with something I fear, I won't just run to it in the hopes to overcome it. I will simply ask myself, "where is Love right now, in this moment"? How can I be love? I will choose love always and by default, drop fear... and everything else really. When I choose love, the illusions just fall away.

I am always choosing. Labeling something wastes energy. Gets me stuck in the "lemme tell you why this is bad" stage. I would like to be of sound mind to see it, and determine whether it speaks to the truth of me or not. And if it doesn't, I will choose create a situation that does.

How will I make my exit... I don't know, and I'm scared. I acknowledge that and also know that its the first step to healing and letting go. You have to hold it first before letting go, right?

day 18 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Day 18 of my 21 day mind detox was another quiet day, my chatter was workin overtime and needed some soothing. My mind chatter was beggin for a backrub today, and my heart obliged. I still have a lot to let go, and am making this more about the process and less about the destination. Its Growth. I'm honored to share it.

I turned within a lot today, because I could still feel "hurt" lurking around the corner. Awareness tells me that when I feel this, I am actually misunderstanding or misusing the tools for empowerment. I have truly forgotten the rules of the game.

I know better. So instead of focusing on it, I try to remember, and remember again. reconnect. choose peace. choose peace. choose peace.

I remind myself that even this, God can handle, so that means I can handle it too. There is truly apart of me that is isn't harmed at all. The more attention I give that part, the more that part will be the dominant characteristic. I won't choose "not to be affected". I will again and again choose whatever I want to grow in my life.

Over and Over again, I asked myself today: who am I in relation to this? State the facts Nakia. What is your observation? Who are you in this story? What can you create in this moment? Who would you like to be?

I deserve all that is good. I release any need for misery and suffering.
I release the need to prove myself to anyone as I am my own self and I love it that way.
I am solution minded. Any problem that comes up in life is solvable.
I am never alone. The universe supports me and is with me at every step.
My mind is filled only with loving, healthy, positive and prosperous thoughts which ultimately are converted into my life experiences.
I consciously release the past and live only in the present. That way I get to enjoy and experience life to the full.
I love myself in totality and I radiate energy.
In life I always get what I give out and I always give out love.
I live in the now and design my future. The past has no effect on my present.
I am forgiving, loving, gentle and kind and am safe in the knowledge that life loves me.

peep more here...

BECAUSE I honor God in me I see God all around me, excited and willing to contribute to peace, our peace.

I choose to be love in everything I do.

another by Saddi Khali

day 17 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

DAY 17: I feel... I can't explain, but I think it is immense joy. Immesurable love. I am letting go of a lot and I am embracing so much good- and this is not airy fairy talk right here. TODAY, IN THIS MOMENT I FEEL... SO... GOOOOOOOOOOOD (good/God- you decide)

Today I woke up feeling extraordinarily great… I really did. Yesterday I thought to myself, “Self, you bought that green scarf to get out of you all black habit. Now that you have countless pics all over the net with it, its time to get some new ones.” And that’s what I did. I bought a couple new vibrant color scarves and today I wore a melon colored one. I don’t know that altered my mood but this morning I made it a point to say good morning to everyone I saw during my 15 minute walk to the train station.

It was a beautiful start to a beautiful day. Later that morning I found out that I have fans/family/friends in Haiti. Apparently there are some students at the cinematography school that found my music (cineinstitute.com). I was ecstatic. I could not focus on things that did not matter to me (my 9-5). I mattered more in that moment and I felt so alive. I was immediately aware of how NYC can be a bubble, a nice comfortable, unique bubble, but a bubble nonetheless. There is so much here that it is easy to think that everything is here. I know on a bigger level that I WANTED to reach everyone in the world willing to listen with wide open hearts, but I had no idea that it was happening in this way, that I was winning in this way.

Funny, I’m able to see it clearly now, because I’m positive it was all happening before the detox, before my letting go. But when I am making the best effort possible to reconnect, re-center, to focus on my inner peace, to really listen, I hear everything I need to hear in the moment it happens. This goes for today and for day 5.

So THIS is what happens when I let go: I stop “working hard” at the 9-5… (its true), I’m not that excited about going and am perpetually 5 minutes late everyday… (true).

In the past I would fear losing the job and get my act together. Now though I do make the effort to get there on time and I certainly get my work done, the fear is fading and I now trust that whatever comes out of this will be for me highest good and as long as my partnership with my Self is strong, then there is nothing that I can’t overcome. And I am realizing more and more that I don’t need to be there and they would do just fine without me, really. They would. So I’m kind of going through the motions right now.

I imagine the more I let go the easier it will be to set it aside like a toy I grew out of. Not like it was the most horrible experience ever, but more like unnecessary for my survival/existence/being-ness. We make these necessary adjustments when we evolve.

I will be letting go for awhile now. I’m ‘more than alright’ with that.

day 16 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

Day 16 of my 21 day mind cleanse: I'm Letting Go! I am not making anything "happen"... I am making it welcome, for it is already happening. I release what no longer serves me and am embracing the love and abundance that is ever-flowing to and through me. I am dancing in it, I am singing in it, I am breathing in it.

I mentioned the whole making it “welcome versus happen” idea in my clutter entry, but this whole blog series goes in circles, if you haven’t noticed lol.

When I let go, I also let go of specific results. If I am giving my all, then I will receive it all. But to be honest, I have NO IDEA what that looks like. Who in here does? I know what it feels like but looks, appearances, or stuff is a changing thing, so I know not to be married to a specific outcome. I know that Love knows what I desire and knows how I want to live. I also have to know that Love has imagined it ever better. So I release it all to receive everything that is coming to me. I can find God in more places then one. If I am only looking up, then imagine what I could be missing ALL AROUND ME. I’d call that a tiny god to only show up one way. I could say the same thing about my success as well.

So what is it that I need to make “happen”? Let’s venture to say a tour around the states, a partner who loves me, money to eat and live well, and a visit to Detroit every once in a while. I can work towards those things and am working towards those things. I don’t want to misinterpret this idea as “sit around and wait for the blessing”. But what I am driving home is, the idea of the universe imagining it better, and the fact that I have everything I need inside of me right now and that I am already prospering. My state wide tour could be nation wide. My partner will know the importance of loving himself first. My money is long and I give it generously. My family is with me, everywhere I go. All of these things are happening RIGHT NOW, and by letting go, I am releasing the clutter- the illusions- from the real thing.

And so, I am making a slue of possibilities welcome. This is what I mean by making it welcome. When I am trying to make something happen, I am in separation from my source, for making something happen suggests that it is not already happening, and therefore pushing it away from me even more. You ever try to feel better about your debt by thinking about it… it doesn’t work.

I speak in circles sometimes because, I myself, need the reminder over and over again. So forgive me if you can recognize some of these principles in other entries. It means more to me that I overstand them.

I’ll assume you are here for your growth and expansion as well. Consciousness proceeds form. Do you believe that? Do I?

day 15 of 21 DAY DETOX OF THE MIND

yep thats me, shot by Saddi Khali who has done most of the photography on this blog, credit him and peep his work here.

Day 15 of my 21 day cleansing/detoxification of the mind. This last week will be focused on my biggest battle to date and that's LETTING GO! I acknowledge that in the past it has been very hard for me to do, but I'm not fighting anymore battles. I will choose PEACE every time. Please send energy and leave some affirmations.... I read them. I use them. I remember them. I AM them.

I remember a talk I had with my dad about fighting battles or addictions or letting what used to get to you, continue to get to you. In the beginning I likened it to a full grown fight turning into toddlers fighting, meaning when ever you feel you are confronted with “that thing” that got to you at the time of your life when you were living unconscious, it won’t be an issue in your current evolved state. He mentioned that there would always be a battle but I said that the battle would be minimal and not life shattering as it once was. I said it would be breaking up a fight between two 3 year olds as opposed to 2 men his age. Basically that the battle would get easier.

But since then, I have been introduced to a new perspective, by a close friend of mine you is very serious about living his life comfortably between pleasure and PEACE. I explained to him the conversation between my father and I, and he asked me: is it a battle if you are choosing ‘peace’. (I know what you’re thinking… and yes, I have some brilliant friends, duuuhhh they are a reflection of me, :)silly). Perhaps it was a clever play on words at the time but I understood completely and brought it back to my dad and he told me he had to “get back to me on that.”

It doesn’t have to be “to drink or not to drink” or “to over-analyze or not to over-analyze”… If my thought is creative, then what’s being heard by the universe is “drink” or “over-analyze”. When I am doing the “this or that” dance what I am REALLY doing is stressing. It’s like when a meditation leader tells you to “not think” of something. That’s almost impossible. It’s much easier to think of “something else”. That “something else” for me will be (is) PEACE. When I choose peace first, I am choosing God first and when I choose God first, I am putting my Self first. The other stuff is just stuff, (energy that doesn’t really serve my well being), so why give it a first a second thought at all.

I am practicing choosing to Be love, peace, joy, abundance, awesomeness, whole, perfect health, the perfect partner, creative being, performance artist, and so much more of what consists of God Consciousness. When I place my energy and focus on these aspects, the other “stuff” falls away. I release it all. I release what ever must fall away and I release the newness that I am embracing, knowing that I am in the flow.

I release and let go of any thought that doesn’t speak to who I REALLY am.

No more supporting the illusion.